Yes, the title of this bloggerama is confusing. I’m really talking about a weather related deal here but let me just state, for the record, that I understand that I am nothing much to look at. I always wanted to be, but it never happened.
I have never had anybody come up to me and say, in a lustful way, “You look goooood!” Now, at my age and state of decrepitude, they come up, pat my knee and say, encouragingly, “You look good!” Then, they offer me pudding.
This is Jim Flink in his incarnation with some outfit called Newsy.com. I believe, in this webcast, Jim is demonstrating how he can whistle the theme to The Andy Griffith Show.
Around Channel 9, over the years, the heart-throbs always seemed to have really good hair like Jim Flink or Dave Stewart or any of the dogs and cats being featured in the Adopt-A-Pet spots. As I mentioned once before in this space…not that I am obsessed with it, or anything…Mr. Flink even won some “Best Anchorman Hair” designation from a weekly paper. Just to be fair, I was also asked to be featured in a publication, as centerfold for “American Antiques Quarterly.” I declined when it became clear that my best feature would end up being the staple holding the magazine together.
My barber back home always told me I was blessed with Audubon Hair…Audubon on a dog.
No, by hottie, I am referring to our current weather pattern. As you all know, heat like we are experiencing can be a dangerous situation. Please, check on the folks in your neighborhood that may be at risk…both older and younger. Also, make sure your animals have cool places to hang out with plenty of water.
In Wisconsin, where summer usually fell on a Thursday, we’d have some hot streaks but it always seemed to cool down overnight. Also, I spent so much time in the village swimming pool and lake, I was like a giant prune wearing cut-offs and Keds.
This is my childhood pool. I was there all the time. Usually being helped down the ladder from the high dive, having chickened out yet again.
My mom, who has grown more and more intolerant to heat, would force herself to lay out in the sun a little each day…for a tan plus some natural Vitamin D. She’d set up the lawn chair…one of those with the plastic, weaved style…out by the clothesline with a wash-rag over her hair and Coppertone by her side.
She never really had to time it for sun safety reasons, because our next door neighbor would invariably come over and start to chat.
He lived with his mother and her cat and took understandable pride in his constant efforts to expand his vocabulary. When he’d see my mom out there in the backyard, he knew he had an audience for his latest word. See if you can guess the one he was trying out in this case “Oh, hello there. I don’t mean to be inquisitive, but I wondered why you’re out in the sun. But, I guess I’d be inquisitive if I asked. My mom wanted to know where I was going. She is so inquisitive. Is that a wash-rag on your head? I hope I am not too inquisitive by my inquisitivicityness.” Well, when the walking Websters made his appearance, my mom knew it was time to politely head inside.
This has nothing to do with heat, but the above reminded me of another neighbor we had living across the street. One day, he noticed my mom was up on a ladder, washing the front windows. So, he went to his phone and called our number. He’d watch as she would climb
down the ladder and walk in the front door…then he’d hang up. He did this three times. The third time my mom came out of the house, he hollered over “Don’t you ever answer your phone!” My little street put a whole new spin on the old saying “It takes a village to raise a child.” Look what my neighborhood turned out!
My dad used to say that “Anything above 90 is hot. Anything below 30 is cold.” But, he added, he wasn’t overly bothered by either extreme because he had a good “internal thermostat.” I think I inherited that since neither too hot or too cold bothers me too much. So, despite the fact that it seems like my pilot light goes out now and then, my thermostat is operational.
My wife’s range of temperature comfort has narrowed over the years. It has to be somewhere between 65 and 65.4 degrees for her to feel just right. None of our kids like the hot weather. You hear people say you can always put on more clothes but can only get so…well…clothes-less. Our oldest boy was born in the midst of a blistering Kansas City summer and spent a good portion of his early life running around in his birthday suit. It was cute then, Now, at nearly 24 years old, it’s troubling.
When we first moved to Kansas City, it was a June heat wave. I did a bunch of stories featuring hot jobs like working in a dry cleaner and putting insulation in the ceiling of an old church and being one of the “characters” out at Worlds of Fun. For the last story of the week, I closed by saying there was always one way to keep cool and jumped into a pool wearing my three-piece suit.
Even today, more than two decades later, people remember: “You’re the idiot who jumped in the water with all his clothes on.” If they’d just say “You’re the hottie who jumped in the water with all his clothes on” I’d feel much better about it.
I wonder why that never happens? Well, now, I’m just being inquisitive.