If I call my mom on this particular day and say “Happy April Fool’s Day!” she will say, “Don’t be silly. This isn’t your birthday.” Same thing happens when I call on Thanksgiving and say “Happy Turkey Day!”
Truth be told, I’m not a big fan of this day’s tradition of teasing and telling tales. Much the same way Halloween can be considered permission to beg from door-to-door, April Fool’s Day seems to sanction telling fibs. Now, being in the weather business, I’m not opposed to stretching the truth. Who am I kidding? Stretching? How about totally snapping? But, I get too nervous about April Fool’s stuff.
When you have four kids and dogs, you are always waiting for the next toilet to overflow and turn your living room into a version of The Dancing Waters. Or, that call that says “Yeah, Dad, how bad is it to put diesel gas in the car?” So, when you live in a nearly-constant state of disaster-waiting-to-happen, it’s just not funny to get a call from your wife saying “Hello, dear, you know how you’re always saying ‘Remember to open the garage door before you back out’ and we all laugh at you? Well, I forgot to open the door. The door is a mess and the back of the van is all banged up. And, worst of all, I can’t get the door to go up or down…I’m stuck.” As my wife is telling me all this I’m adding up the car insurance and home owner’s insurance deductibles and wondering which meals we won’t be having for the next month or so. Then, she says, with a smile in her voice “April Fools!” Nice.
Folks on TV and radio, and in the newspaper business, sometimes make up elaborate jokes. Like the one we mentioned on FirstNews this morning about a paper that created an entire front page of false information. In this cynical age, it may seem redundant to think the info we’re getting from all these sources is any more truthful the other 364 days of the year. Often, on-air pranks lead to off-air firings. I’ve always felt that my best broadcasting-related joke is getting a paycheck every couple of weeks.
The origins of this day of so-called fun are murky. Some say it goes back to Scotland when folks would use this time of the year to go gowk hunting. A gowk was like a cuckoo. Calling someone a gowk was like calling someone an idiot. It explains why the red-crested gowk is on the Nichols Family Crest! A wild gowk hunt sounds a little like what my brothers used to do to me years ago. They’d send me out on a snipe hunt. Imagine their surprise when I came home with an eight-foot snipe.
The French also claim credit for this jokey day. Apparently, some Frenchmen thought it would be fun to put dead fish on their friends’ backs. Fifty million Frenchmen can’t be wrong but they can be smelly…and scaly.
I’m a little distracted about April Fool’s Day this year, anyway. It all goes back to yesterday. I left KMBC and stopped by the grocery store. As I was standing in the check-out lane, with my little basket of Oreos, cheese and chocolate milk. A woman behind me started to whisper in my ear. No, not sweet nothings. She was saying “I want those cookies! You took my cookies.” This woman was, I would guess, in her late 70s but very spry. I told her, politely, to keep her hands off my cookies. (Insert your own joke here.) She actually started grabbing for them! I was pushing her away…gently as possible…when she shoved me into the candy rack. I lunged for the cookies and held them close to my chest. She starting yanking on my arms and bending my fingers back from the package! Then, out of nowhere, this elderly super-hero dropped to the ground and latched onto my left leg! This woman was determined. This woman was angry. This woman was pulling my leg. Just like I’m pulling yours.
See? Don’t you hate April Fool’s Day?
